The ONE Thing Christian Women Long For From Their Husbands

I've often heard it said that men are pretty simple with regard to their needs in marriage.

At the top of most of the lists are respect (that's Biblical); adequate time making love (that's Biblical too-and fun!); food to fill their tummies (women are to be lovers of their husbands and keepers of their homes, so this is also Biblical).

Let's see...
Respect
Naked time
Food

Doesn't seem too hard to please my man...and my guess is that yours isn't much different.

May I be so bold to speak to Christian men for a minute?

I gotta say, this is new territory for me.

My blog has been for women...for years.

The ministry God has given me has been to women as well. Since I started teaching women how to study the Bible in 2004, there have been hundreds whom I've worked with.

If I had $5 for every woman who told me the ONE THING that would mean the world to her in her marriage, I would be sailing the Atlantic Ocean on my dream boat right now.

Guys...I promise, we're pretty simple too.

Christian women want from our husbands what 
Christ placed in our hearts as our deepest desire.

WE WANT YOU TO WASH US WITH THE WATER OF THE WORD!

We want you to be IN THE WORD.

We want you to WANT TO KNOW GOD, and this comes by knowing His Word.

We want you to GROW in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, by getting to KNOW HIM in the very Word that He has given you.

I was telling a man recently about the story of King Josiah.

• He became the King of Judah at 8 years old. 
• At 16 years old, he began to seek the God of his father David.

Hold up here...David wasn't his father! 
Amon was. 
David was his forefather. 
Josiah's own father was an idol worshiper who lived an incredibly pagan life. He forsook God, and thus Josiah couldn't look to his own father's example for guidance on how to rule. 
Josiah discounted his father because his father discounted GOD!

DADS, IS THAT THE LEGACY YOU WANT TO LEAVE FOR YOUR CHILDREN?

• When he was 20, Josiah began to purge Judah, Jerusalem, and Israel of all idol worship in the land. 

• At 26, after he had purged the land and the house of the Lord, he began to repair the house of the LORD, which had fallen into great disrepair due to the neglect of it and the idol worship that was taking place.

In the midst of repairing the house of the LORD, the book of the law was found. 
When it was read to Josiah, (who had been seeking the LORD for 10 years by this point) 
he:
tore his clothes; 
immediately sent his servants to inquire of the LORD for him from a prophetess; 
tendered his heart; 
humbled himself before the LORD; 
and wept before God.

AND AS A RESULT, GOD heard him and did not send His burning wrath upon Judah until Josiah had gone to his grave in peace.

When I shared this story with a man recently, he said, "THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! 
It starts in the White House! 
Our President needs to humble himself before God. 
It starts in the White House!"

MEN....listen up, PLEASE!

IT STARTS IN YOUR HOUSE!

WHEN, OH WHEN are the men of this country going to make the Word of God a priority in your own homes?!

WHEN, OH WHEN are you going to start obeying God's Word and wash your wives with the water of His Word?

WHEN, OH WHEN are you going to take GOD SERIOUSLY when He commands that you teach your children His Word?

I'm not trying to man bash, and I realize that some of you will take it that way.

I can't change how you choose to receive this exhortation.

I just think it's time that someone tell you straight up that your wives are STARVING for you to be the spiritual leaders in your homes!

I hear it so much that it's like a broken record.

Your sons are being discipled by your wives...either that, or you're leaving it up to their Sunday school teachers and youth group leaders.

EPIC FAIL, DADS. 

Your boys need to be taught God's Word by YOU!

They LONG to be led into the rich meat of God's Word by YOU!

Your daughters are going to grow up and look for a man much like you, most likely.

Don't you WANT her to have a man that will pray God's Word over her?

And your Christian wives?

They NEED you to lead them according to the Word of God. 

You want to know something else?

You know how you struggle with your eyes? 
You know how your thought life can too easily take you down the path of lust?

Want a tough wake up call?

Your Christian wife who has been praying, begging, and longing for you to lead her and your family in the Word may very well be struggling too.

Know what her struggle is?

She sees the men in your church who ARE in the Word...who are passionate about their walks with Christ...and if she's not totally surrendered to Jesus, her thought life can too easily become, 
"I wish I had a husband like that. 
I wish MY husband would do family devotions with us. 
I wish MY husband would turn the stupid t.v. off and open the Bible with me.
I WISH MY HUSBAND WOULD LEAD ME IN THE WORD."

Guys...our days aren't so much different than the days of Josiah.

Our fathers have shirked their responsibilities with regard to God's Word in our homes, and as a result everyone suffers.

Our kids are falling away from church in droves once they hit high school or college, and we wonder why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Marriages in the church are falling apart and we wonder why?!?!?!?!?

Pornography addictions; sexting affairs; extramarital affairs; lack of heart intimacy in marriages; disrespect from our kids...it's all so prevalent, and we really have to wonder why?!

MEN...PLEASE, I BEG YOU ON BEHALF OF YOUR WIVES who have cried many tears sitting on my couch, have shared many heart desires about their longing for you to lead them...

I BEG YOU...

MAN UP!

Decide TODAY that you are going to OBEY GOD and lead your family in the Word.

We don't expect you to be perfect at it.

WE aren't perfect at it...none of us are. Your wife isn't, and you won't be.

GOD doesn't expect you to be perfect either.

He only asks that you be obedient and make His Word preeminent in your home.


GUESS WHAT? 
HIS WORD IS PERFECT! 
JUST READ IT!


Want more respect from your wife? 
Want to be the man she's always dreamed of? 
Want to help protect her thought life?

LEAD HER IN THE WORD!

Want more naked time with your wife?

I PROMISE YOU, she is going to find you so amazingly sexy the minute you start obeying God and assume your rightful role as loving spiritual leader of your home, that you're going to have to fight her off!

Want more yummy food from her?

My best guess is that if you tell her brownies will help you be a better expositor of God's Word, you'll have a batch waiting for you when you get home.

Please..quit wasting time complaining about the government, and govern your families according to God's Word.

It doesn't start in the White House.

It starts in YOUR HOUSE.

In His Love,
Jes

A Marriage Mender

"Praise makes me brave."

I am told that Hans Christian Andersen said that..

Last Christmas our homeschooling group from church took the most fantastic tour. A very precious woman decorates her home each Christmas and fills it to the brim with the most interesting collection of Christmas goodies from all over the world.

I enjoyed seeing everything that she featured...all the toys and the stories that accompanied them. 

However, what I was completely enraptured with were all of the profound quotes that she had framed and hanging on every square inch of her walls. They were hand painted on lovely wooden plaques and some were delicately cross stitched in cute little oval frames.

I could seriously spend an entire day in her home just jotting down all of these nuggets of truth!

One that jumped out at me was the one above.

"Praise makes me brave."

Truer words were never spoken in my case.

I am married to a man who praises me often. He praises me in our home to our children, and he finds every opportunity to do it openly when we're with others.

Every edifying word that he speaks of me makes me stronger, braver, and creates in me a feeling of true loveliness.

These precious words are also balm to my soul, and erase the hurt of years of critical words that I felt bathed in for much of my life.

In return, I find that when I praise him he rises to each statement of encouragement - arching even higher in that given area than he already was.

When I say to him, "You're such a wonderful father," I find that he will grab one of our kiddos shortly thereafter and hug them tight and whisper afresh a word of loving encouragement to them.

When I tell him, "You are so handsome," he beams that million dollar smile from ear to ear and swoops me up in his arms to give me the hugs that I so need and cherish. The warmth of his big, strong arms around me makes me feel loved, protected, and safe. 

In the early years of our marriage there were times that it seemed so tough to find something in him to praise. We went through some very, very hard years. Simply put, we had work to do to become one flesh, and in the euphoria of dating I hadn't planned on WORK, for goodness sake!

One of my best mental measuring tools was the proverbial "He's not being the spiritual leader of our household!" comment.

If I had a dollar for every time that I said or thought that, combined with the dollars for every time that other women have said it to me, I'd be loaded!

I have a challenge for you, ladies:

Take the focus off of how you think you're husband is doing in his role of being the spiritual leader of your home, and mercilessly check your own heart for how you're doing as the spiritual follower of the home.

Better yet, ask the Lord to examine your heart...as the Apostle Paul exhorts us to do in I Corinthians 4:3-4...

But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. 

For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord. 

I promise you that if you take the time that you're spending evaluating your husband's performance as spiritual leader, and you put it into face-down time in God's Word, you won't be so displeased.

Instead, you'll find that you're praying for your husband more. You may even find a dear and trusted friend who will pray with you that the Lord will place an undying hunger for His Word into your husband's heart.

Ask the Lord to reveal to you the things that you can tell your beloved the minute that he walks into the house tonight that will make him brave.

Ask for things that you can praise about him...right where he is, today.

Here, I'll start...

Shane is the hardest working man I've ever known who is relentlessly unwilling to compromise his family life for worldly success.

He gives it everything he has to give when he's at the office, and does likewise when he's at home. When he leaves the office each day, he's left his best "on the field," thus he can fully enjoy and invest his time with us.

I believe this makes him much more effective in both business and family. He has his priorities straight!

As a result, both his employer and his family recognize how hard he works for us and value him beyond words.

As a side note ladies...in order to allow your husband to give his employer his all, show them the same respect that you ask of your husband for your family when he comes home. Don't call him at work with family issues unless it is absolutely necessary.

Think of his time at the office as time on the battlefield. 

If your husband was in combat, you wouldn't be ringing him on his cell phone to tell him that the dishwasher quit working. Save that for when he comes home, and AFTER you've let him unwind a bit...preferably even after his tummy is full.

OK, now it's your turn. What is one thing that you can praise about your husband (or wife if you're a man) today?

Your comment may encourage someone else to find that very same trait in their spouse, so please don't be shy...comment to help other marriages as much as to thank God for your own.

Much love to you today,

Jes

How You Can Tell When I'm Not Doing Well

Dear Friends and Readers...


I must tell you that I long to be one of those bloggers who faithfully writes every day. 


Truly, I do.


It's rare that a day goes by that I'm not thinking of something that I want to share with you. I even have posts that are in draft form in Blogger, that I'm just waiting to finish so that I can publish them for you.


Some of you tell me that you check my blog every day for an update. 


Wow. What a humbling thought. Thank you.


This has been a roller-coaster week. 


Many highs. A few really low lows.


First the highs:


1. A dear friend donated almost 300,000 Hilton points for my friend and I for our New York trip. 


We will be close enough to the theatre district to walk to it! 


Ahem....James Earl Jones and Vanessa Redgrave are staring in 
"Driving Miss Daisy"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We're both still in awe!


2. An unexpected early Christmas present arrived this week. Let's just say it was...uh, there are no words. It was a gift of freedom, and we are deeply thankful for it!


3. God has done a great work of healing in a relationship that means so very much to me. Without question, it was His hand, to His glory, and His precious gift in my life.


Thank You, Jesus. 
You've known my heart for over a decade. 
Thank You, and praise You!


4. My family and I went to see 
"White Christmas" tonight. It's a traveling Broadway show, and it was superb! 


I took Brennan shopping this afternoon (a task that only a Titan should take on) and we found the cutest little outfit for her. She looked precious, and I could tell that she felt like a million bucks! 


However, for a girl (me) who really prefers to shop in totally  stealth mode, this trip just about took me to my end!


I'm not kidding you when I tell you that the dress came from one store, the shoes from another, the sweater from still another, and the "I just gotta have these 2 outfits, Momma" from another.


Praising God that our little mall is just that...little!


Mini rant here...why is it that once a girl is out of a size 6x, designers and buyers think that mothers actually want and will pay for our daughters to dress 6 years older than they really are?!


Almost every cute outfit that we found was black! 


I told her, "You will have the rest of your life to dress in black. There is absolutely no reason for you to start doing so now."


Thankful that she agrees with me, so there was no battle. :)


Now the lows:


1. I had a much needed conversation with someone whom I dearly love...a few someones actually, in which I needed to share parts of my testimony that are deeply painful. 


When the tears started, they didn't stop for 12+ hours, and they were the kind that felt like they started from my toenails and worked their way all the way up through my gut and out of my mouth, in choking gasps.


Regardless of the fact that forgiveness has been granted, even though it's never been requested, there are still some hurts that are as raw at 40 years old as they were the day they were perpetrated.


So, the aftermath of those tears felt like an emotional hangover. 


It was. Exactly. That.


I hate sin. I hate the fact that some sins keep taking and taking and taking...


2. On Monday of this week, I went out with my precious new friend Lisa, and had such a hard time walking. My foot was crippling like my hand does, so much so that I had to hold onto either her or a cart to be able to walk.


I hate the feeling that I'm going to fall over at any minute. 
It scares me, and I really, really hate it.


Hate is a strong word, isn't it?


Well guess what?


I hate it!


3. Momma Nan is going through some heartbreak right now, and I can't do anything about it. 


(It's not her own, but that of someone she loves. She's like Jesus, you know. She loves deeply, sacrificially, and without release.)


And when she mourns, I mourn.


Yes, I can pray...and I'm doing that every single time that I think about her...but I still long to sit curled up in one of her cushy chairs at the farm, over a cup of hot coffee and talk through everything together.


I long to hug her so long and so tight that she has to beg me to let go of her!


I long to bow low before our King with her, and cry out to Him for His hand of mercy over the situation.


That time will come...but until then, I will continue to pray alone. 


Would you please join me? 


Then I won't be praying alone anymore. Pretty please.


4. On Tuesday of this week, we had tornadoes touch down tear down just down the road from us. Shane took great care of us and made sure that we were all prepared and were safe in the basement.


He's good like that. :)


I kept thinking about the post I wrote here and so wanted to be like my Mom had been through all of those tornado warnings in West Texas, yet I feel I failed miserably. 


#1. I was scared outta my wits, and felt like I was 5 years old again.


And...


#2. I was too busy with the doing to think much about the sheltering of my children with my words.


I did finally think to ask them what verses we could say, and one of them piped up, 
"Momma, what about the one you were saying the other day?"


It was this one...
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee."


Perfect. Score one for the kiddos!


5. Today my man and I fought.
We don't do much of that, and it grieves my heart when we do.


I was madder than a bat outta you know where! I tried and tried and TRIED to keep a gentle and quiet spirit....but dadgummit if I didn't blow that one sky high!


And before you pull a feminista trip on me, let me say...


I blew my top. 


No nice way to say it. I just blew it right off!


He didn't. He was mad, but I was the one that lost it.


Emotional hangover #2 for the week? 
I don't know...I think I'm still mad, truthfully.


My guess is that he is too. 


Stinks.


But, he has the button, and I don't. 


Does your man have that? 


The button on the back of his head that allows him to go fast to sleep the minute that his head hits the pillow, regardless of anything going on at the moment?


He sleeps, and I just really want to throw something, or bang a tennis ball against a backboard. 


No luck with either of those, though. So I write.


Lucky you. Have you hung up on me yet? 

6. The spasticity in my hands, feet, and legs is getting worse. It's not always unbearable by any means, but it certainly is sometimes.


7. Today is Halloween. 
I hate Halloween with a passion!


Hate is a strong word, isn't it?


Well, I think I've already addressed that...


Uncategorized:


I've been asked to write my testimony for an event that is coming up at our church. It's to be 300-500 words.


I've spoken my testimony many times, but I've never had to write it out. I'm struggling with this so much, and I can't understand it.


My pastor's wife is lovely, and had encouraged me and walked me through some of it with her words of wisdom.


Yet, I still feel crippled.


How do I tell the truth when it's so hard to tell?


How do I tell it when it hurts so much?


How do I tell it in 300-500 words?


How do I tell it when I know that if I'm asked to share it out loud, I will cry until snot runs down my face? 


At a ladies Christmas brunch, none the less?


I'm pretty sure that I've asked you to pray for me about this already, but I do hope that you won't mind that I'm asking for your prayers once again.


So...how can you tell when I'm not doing too well?


I don't write faithfully.


And sometimes, I don't write at all.


I love you tonight.
If you've hung in this far into this post, I really extra love you!
Jes

Shane - A Few Things We Need to Discuss Regarding Our Marriage

1. You are never more attractive to me than when I see you sitting at the desk in the library, studying the Word of God.


2. Thank you for working so very hard so that I may stay home with our children.


3. I am so appreciative of the fact that homeschooling isn't my idea, but is our conviction from God. Thank you for all of the times that you remind me of this very fact on the days when I am weary. 


4. Though neither one of us knew that we had Multiple Sclerosis in our future, I thank God constantly that He knew it and had chosen someone with such a servant's heart to be my beloved. Thank you for the countless ways that you are strong for me when I am weak.


5. For all the times that I watch you with our little girl, and tears fill up in my eyes thinking about how grateful I am that she has you...thank you. 


She's too young to realize what having a Daddy like you will mean for her as a woman, but I do. And I thank you for how you cherish her, love her, protect her, are so tender with her, and treat her as though she's the smartest and most beautiful little girl in the world.


(We both know she is!) ;)


6. Every little boy needs their Daddy to be their hero, and you fit this role to a "t" for Caedmon. Thank you for how you're teaching him to be a man....for how you're establishing in him the family work ethic. 


Thanks for all of the times that you remind him that when he's talking to me, he's speaking to your wife and for making it clear to him just exactly what you won't put up with toward your wife. Love that!


Thank you for teaching him to be a man of prayer. What an amazing kid he is! 


Thanks for the countless hours you've spent playing with him from the moment he arrived. 


I'm not going to be angry about the fact that he cried and cried when I first held him, and didn't stop until you took him and he heard your voice and looked into your eyes for the first time. 


It's been 10 years, but I really do think I'm going to let it go now. ;)


7. Thank you for all of the times that you tell me I'm beautiful. Even when I don't see the same thing in the mirror, you give me that look of utter disbelief and start counting the ways that you see me as lovely. 


If only every woman had a husband who spoke to her like you do to me!


8. For all of the times that you eat (or have eaten over the past 11.5 years) a charbroiled, a blackened, a burnt meal and said that you "like things a little crispy"...you are wonderful!


9. Thanks for teaching our kids to love the outdoors. There's still hope for me, so don't give up yet ok?


10. And finally, even though every picture in your office is perfectly measured from the ceiling down to be at the same height, and even though every single piece of paper in your office has a place for itself and has itself in it's place....a million thanks that you don't require the same at home of your artsy-freebird kind of wife. 


Thank you that as long as the light is on in the window, and you have a warm hug to greet you here, you're all good.


I love you darling. 


I just thought we needed to discuss these things regarding our marriage.


You bless my life beyond my imagination.

Mmm, Mmm, Mmm....Can I get some fries with that?  ;)

And love to you reader,

Jes

When Was The Last Time?

I really am going to be quick tonight.

I just wanted to pop in and ask you a few questions, while we're on this roll of marriage posts...

When is the last time that you asked your husband to flex for you?

I'm being dead serious!

Do you do that?

Ever ask him to flex his muscles for you?

Ever compliment him on his legs?

Ever tell him what a brilliant brick layer/engineer/ditch digger/pastor he is?

When is the last time that you told him how thankful you are for the father that he is?

Ever share with him how much you love his butt tush?

When is the last time that you asked him to make love to you, after telling him that you just couldn't stand 
one more minute without being close to him?

Ever call him at work and tell him what your "plans" are for him when you get him home?

If you're blushing, or balking, I'd challenge you with this.... 

Don't you love it when he says these things to you?!

Remember how it was when you were young and in love?

Is it still that way?

If not...like Janan said...let it begin with you.

MMM....we gotta feed these marriages of ours, and cherish them like the precious gifts from God that they are!

We have an adversary, ladies....and we're foolish if we forget that! He's an enemy...and he desires to rip our families apart....

Are we going to just hand them over on a silver platter, or are we going to fight to the death for them?

If you can't fight for your own anymore, then share your heart in an email to me, and let me fight for you in prayer...

Allow me to share your story (but change your name) here on the blog, and you'll quickly have a whole host of women fighting for you in prayer!

I've been totally amazed by how many people have responded to the past few posts on marriage, both to the posts themselves and to their subsequent comments. Most of those responses have been in the form of phone calls or private emails...thus my promise that if you do decide to ask for prayer, your name will not be shared.

Marriage in this country is under full-on attack. We gotta get into the bunkers with each other, ladies!

I'm not spell checking or proof-reading tonight, as my head feels like it's going to explode...so I'm off to bed.

But, I do seriously love ya'll tonight!
Jes

Marriage - Let The Younger Women Learn from the Older...

Sweet Friends,

This is from my precious friend Janan, whom you've heard a lot about if you've read much on my blog. She is my spiritual momma, and I love her dearly.

I trust that her words will bless your life, or the life of someone you know. If you find that they do, or that the previous message on marriage did, you can just click the button that looks like an envelope, and forward it to anyone whom you know that may need to "hear" these words of encouragement today.

I've been blown away by how many phone calls I've had regarding the post on marriage that I wrote a few days ago...and by the work that the Spirit of God has seen fit to do in several womens' lives already.

Praise Him!

I love you today,
Jes

Dear Jesica:

I read your post the other night after getting home from a long week of travel. It has pestered me all night and all day, so I decided to tell my story in hopes in can help someone.

First of all, I pray in the Name of Jesus for any and all of you that are dealing with thoughts of separation or divorce. I understand it, as I have been in your situation, and it is only through God's saving grace that my husband of 31 years and I were able to keep our marriage together. And since it was truly a work of God and not our own, our love and committment have grown deeper with each passing day. God not only saves - but also heals.

After about 5 years of marriage, I began thinking about leaving my husband. I had left my first husband, so when things started getting hard in this marriage, I thought maybe leaving was the thing to do. He told me matter-of-factly that, "Kashes don't get divorced."

He began receiving treatment for depression, which helped for awhile, but eventually our lives began spinning out of control. For the life of me, I could not figure out how to put things in order. I would think and pray until my head hurt - if I could just get a vision of what needed to be done, I was sure I could pull it through. This went on for almost 20 years.

I should mention that in our situation, neither one of us was a Born Again Christian. We both grew up in the church, and we knew the concept of Jesus as Savior, but we had never made Jesus our Lord. So it was about this time - after 20 years of marriage - that God was gracious. Within a one-year period of time, all four members of our family gave our lives to Christ. This was after a precious lady, who worked for me in my home 3 days a week for 3 years, prayed for me and my family for those three solid years as she worked in my home. She prayed over our beds, over my children's video games, over our entire home. (We were totally unaware of this.) And after three years, when God started moving in our family, He moved with POWER.

That was close to 12 years ago. What happened was that we allowed GOD to put our lives in order - it was never something we could do on our own. He gave us the vision we needed, the power through His Holy Spirit to hold our tongues with one another, and when we began to attend church regularly and study His word individually, His word never came back void (Isaiah 55).

It took time for me to re-learn how to be kind and respectful to my husband. I pretty much quit asking God to change him, and started begging God instead to change ME.

I realized that the things we do become habitual. Over the years, I had developed terrible habits of disrespecting my husband, talking back, feeling superior, feeling self-sufficient,etc. And for me the change to rid of those things came one day at a time. In an argument or discussion, I would pray for God to hold my tongue, and He did. After awhile of this, my husband quit the arguing because I was not arguing back. Cycles were broken.

I heard something on the radio once, and I decided to try this and friends - it really worked. This is how it went. They were interviewing a lady who had written a book or Bible study - I can't remember which, and I never knew who she was. But she said that in her daily quiet time, she would pray fervently for her husband. She kept a running list of all of his faults and daily she would go down the list and pray for God to rid him of these things. She did this for YEARS. She said that one morning, she heard God very clearly telling her to throw the list away. Instead she was to make a new list of good things about him and focus instead on those. What she came up with is what she called the 30-day challenge - 30 days because this was a period of time when bad habits can be replaced with good habits.

The 30-day challenge works like this. Every day for 30 days, you are not allowed to say ONE - NOT ONE - bad thing to your huband. No matter what - no way. You must instead compliment him in some way. This could be in the form of saying one nice thing about him or his character or appearance, making one nice comment about something he did for you or someone else, leaving him one nice note - you get the picture - one nice thing a day. She even emphasized if you could only find one nice thing to say, you could say it over and over for 30 days.

I tried this myself and it worked. What happened is I quit focusing on my husbands faults and instead began looking at things that were good about him. Many of those things were things that I originally loved about him when we met. God allowed me to see much deeper into him than I had ever seen him before.

It was probably close to 30 days into the challenge when I remember my husband and I were on a trip - we were driving somewhere in Colorado I think. I remember looking over at him and saying, "Can you tell "I" have changed in the way I treat you?" His reply shocked me. He said, "Yes, and I think you really mean it." My point in all of this is that God helped "me" to change and in the process "my husband" changed as well. But it had to start with one of us, and I knew it had to be me.

I have a Bible story I want to remind you all of. It is told in two of the gospels - Luke 9:37-45 and Mark 9:14-32. This story followed Christ's transfiguration. Jesus walked into the scene and some of his disciples were trying, unsuccessfully, to cast an evil spirit out of a boy. Jesus said to them, "Oh unbelieving generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." The boy's father told Jesus he had been like that since childhood and he said to Jesus, "If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

Jesus replied, "If you can? Everything is possible for him who believes". The father replied, "I believe, help my unbelief," and Jesus drove out the evil spirit and the boy was healed. Later the disciples asked Jesus why they were unable to cast out the demon and Jesus told them that "This kind can come out only by prayer."

As believers we have been given power to overcome the enemy, but that power is not of ourselves, it is from God. And the way we activate that power is through prayer. We must be deligent to pray!

I know this is lengthy, but I have one more story I want to share which I am sure everyone is familiar with. And this story will, in fact, be my prayer for anyone who is struggling in their marriage. This story speaks to me in a mighty way of what Jesus did to my own marriage.

It is found in in John 2:1-11 and reads: On the third day a wedding took place at Cannan in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jeus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine." Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied. "My time has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you." Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding fom twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet." They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridgroom aside and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."

I think of my marriage as the wine at the wedding. Somewhere over the years, we ran out of wine. But then Jesus showed up and performed a miracle in our marriage. He told the servants to "fill the jars with water." The jars were empty, but Christ had them filled. The part that I love the most about this story is this - he turned the water into wine - but not just any kind of wine - but CHOICE WINE - FINE WINE! And this is what Christ can do with any marriage. He can take an empty marriage - dry - and fill it up and then turn it into fine wine!

I pray that if this message is for you today, that you will 1) Turn your eyes upon Jesus - make sure He is your Savior AND your Lord; 2) PRAY! Don't ever quit praying! 3) Quit asking God to change your husband and ask him to change YOU! 4) Take it one day at a time - pray to God "Give us this day our daily bread."

I hope these words will be a blessing to someone. I love you in the Name of Jesus!

Janan Kash