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Friday, July 02, 2010

My Testimony

It's ugly.


The part before Jesus entered my life, that is.


It's worse than ugly.


It's hideous.


It grieves my heart when I think about my past.


But I find it often gives hope to other women.


Women who have believed the lies of the evil one. 


He's brutal. 


Hateful.


Cruel.


I've often wondered if I should share it here.


Should I have a little tab somewhere on my blog that would allow you to see who I was before Jesus...


Would you even care to read it?


Would it become fodder for gossip, or a huge opportunity for God to be glorified?


Would it make you focus on the slime pit of my sin, or stand in awe of the Savior of my soul?


Would you want more of Him, as a result of reading what He did for me?


Would He use it to draw someone else to salvation?


So many questions in my mind.


I would cherish your prayers as I consider sharing it, seeking Him and His wisdom on what to write, and what not to.


I'd also love to know  your thoughts...your exhortations...


Much love to you tonight,
Jes

4 comments:

Little Momma said...

to those with ears to hear and hearts that are soft and teachable, your testimony would be a great encouragement...a message of hope and redemption. just like the saints before us who have rotten ugly pasts that have been redeemed and then used mightly for His kingdom purposes(Paul comes to mind first and foremost.)
I think we must always use discretion and tell our stories in a way that is relatable and yet does not steal the innocence of our listeners, but still share them none the less. Our story is His story. It is meant to be shared for His glory.

chandy said...

Well, speaking as someone who has sinned so, so horrifically and yet still been forgiven, it is always encouraging to hear from others who have tread my same path. It serves to remind me that, yeah, it really is possible for God to forgive even THAT... even ME.

But I'm basing this purely on my own experience here.

Kim Green said...

I am torn on this one. I am a big fan of testimony. I am writing the testimony of my marriage right now to share with someone who has asked for it for her marriage Bible study class. It is useful and encouraging to the Body of Christ to know the depths of depravity in our flesh and the saving Grace and sanctification that only the Lord God can offer. However, where I am torn is the public forum for such testimony. Yes, you can reach more people. But I know for me, there are things that I will never share with others as it is too hurtful to share. Was I a horrid sinner saved by God? Yes! I will fill in the details as necessary as they come in accordance with relationships that God puts in my life. There are certain things that I would share with others who may be going through the same thing. But to throw it all out there...I don't know. And I will never want my children to know what I've done unless it's necessary to a specific situation that will come as a result of my relationship with them. Yes, we need to be open and transparent with one another. But I'm starting to view it more in the context of relationship rather than an open forum. I know Paul's testimony is a terribly open forum (the Bible!) but that was God-breathed and I'm not sure it applies to me. Just my 2 cents and that's what it's worth! Love you! xoxo Me

Jes said...

I'm reposting this person's comment because she left it under a post dealing with a different subject...

bandddear said...
No, I would not share my dirty laundry. I think it is just asking people to accept you in spite of it. It is a sign of a self-image problem. I think you should study Philippians 3. Paul thinks we should leave those things behind & press on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. God has forgotten all your garbage & you should too. Also, study 2 Cor 5:17-21 to see who you are in Christ. You are seated in Christ @ the right hand of the Father & He sees you as perfect in Christ so start to see yourself that way. The old man is dead. Read the whole chapter. About Precept no I am not interested in it. I took one class several yrs. ago & didn't like it at all. She is not a right divider. Too much law left in her teachings. We are not under the law we are under grace. PTL Move on with your life in Christ.