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Monday, November 29, 2010

Question for week One...and a Test Video

Hi Ladies,


Remember when I told you to expect opposition?


Yeah...well, that's what I feel like I've been dealing with this week. 


Yet, at this very moment a friend of mine is sitting in the airport with a 5 hour delay, and on this end I'm thinking, "Oh Cool! God must have someone that He wants to use her and her husband to speak with! Can't wait to hear that story!"


So I'm left to ask myself what He's up to with our study getting a late start. I don't like delays.


Yet today, was another day of them for me. Another doctor's visit, as my left leg was swelling and has been hurting for several days. 


Another sonogram.


Another report that everything is ok.


While I am thankful for the good news, I can't see the WHY in any of this. 


I mean, I didn't share the Gospel with anyone in the waiting room...in fact, I spent most of my time there trying to die to my flesh; I spent more money on medical stuff; and my sweet friend Lisa came to my rescue yet again...sacrificing her day for me.


She wouldn't even listen to me when I told her I was fine going by myself. 


And you.


You have been on my heart all day long! Remember, videos and questions were supposed to go up today?


You were my #2 today!


(Guess Who #1 was?)


Here's what I have for you tonight...it's not at all what I had planned, but it's definitely what I believe God has laid on my heart for you.


Has the Word of the Lord been hidden in your house as it was in the House of the Lord?


How important is the Word of the Lord in the church that you attend? 


With regard to the children's ministry in your church, how much focus is placed upon them truly learning to dig into God's Word?


Is it all pizza, parties, Bible stories (apart from the actual Scripture), and babysitting?


Do you see your children growing in the Lord as a result of what they're learning?


Are YOU teaching your children the Word at home, or are you dependent upon the church to do that for you?


I know I'm not going in order here...I'm just pouring forth from my heart...so roll with me, ok?


Are you seeking a popular pastor; a t.v. evangelist; or someone else at the cost of spending one on one time with the LORD through His Word?


If you have been doing this, has this week's study shown you how much God has for you through your own diligent study of His Word?


What did you learn from Josiah's life that impacted your own?


What changes are you compelled to make as you witnessed the life of a young boy who was changed by the Word of God?


If you're a mother or a grandmother, how can you be encouraging the children in your own life to seek the Lord and obey Him?


How might you edify them by sharing Josiah's story with them...you may have a Josiah (or and Esther) right there under your wings...waiting to be nurtured to greatness for God.


Ahem. I don't think there's really a "may" in this equation, for believing parents and grandparents.


What did you learn about God that just left you in awe?


What is God calling you to change or improve upon in your walk with Him, through what you've learned thus far?


Oh ladies...I love you!


I thank God for you!


I can't wait to see your answers...and to feel well enough to lead this study as my heart so desires to.


I'm testing my first uploaded video. 


Thanks Lisa. You're the best. 


Grace and Peace to you tonight, in Jesus Christ and God our Father,
Jes




Sunday, November 28, 2010

Study Update - CCSVI Update

Well, I'm going to start off by saying that I am fighting feeling like I've failed you all.


That's such a terrible way to feel, isn't it?!


This past week was a tough one...not every day, but several.


I had a sonogram of both of the injection sites and everything looked ok....but it took 1 day going to the doctor's office, and another 1/2 day at the hospital. Plus, a fair bit of pain.


There was a small hematoma on one side which the doctor is sure will be reabsorbed with no problems.


What made this week tough is that I have been utterly exhausted! When people with MS talk about fatigue, it's more like trying to explain how it feels to have been run over by a Mack Truck several times in a week.


We had our family Thanksgiving time together, and it was so sweet...but I pushed too hard. I knew I would because I didn't want to miss anything, but it was foolish of me.


That sounds so lame to me as I write it, because I really didn't even do all of the hard work...I think it was just standing for so many hours that did me in.


As a result, I paid for it the whole next day and am still dragging even as I write this.


The good news in all of it?


Hannah, Lisa's daughter who helps me once a week, is coming tomorrow...thus I will finally be able to get my thoughts posted here for you. And hopefully, the videos up. Shane's cousin is some I.T. whiz guy and told me how to make my way too long video split into two, upload to YouTube, and then link together.


Sounds really easy for someone with my uploading success rate, doesn't it?


Have I even told you how many times I've tried to upload videos in the past 2 weeks?


If not, I don't want to talk about it.


WOULD YOU PLEASE, PLEASE pray that nothing will keep me from being able to get this done tomorrow?


My friend Dawn shared that she is going to do the study with her elementary aged children and that got me super excited and challenged, so I plan to do the same with mine! We'll just take a little break from Abraham and do this study together. 


This will make it "fresh" for me, since I just did the first 3 weeks with our class at church about a month or so ago.


Here's who I show as in our study right now. If I'm missing someone, or if you aren't going to be in it after all, please let me know.


1. Deb
2. Leta Lou
3. Chaundra
4. Rachel
5. Dawn & kiddos 
(Dawn...please let the kids comment under your name. I know this will be a great encouragement to all of us! I won't post their names without your permission.)
6. Me 
7. Caedmon
8. Brennan


When you leave your comments, Dawn and I will filter out anything that you say that isn't appropriate to share with our kiddos, so don't feel the need to hold anything back. 


You're safe with us. :-)


Please forgive me for dropping the ball this week. I should have at least popped on here to tell you something....oh wait, I did start that post...but then got called in for the sonogram.


Did I say it's been a nutso week?


Prayer request: I have one more possible complication from the surgery that I need to have checked out this week. I'm sure it's nothing, but since you all have walked this journey thus far with me I feel sure that you won't mind praying me through the rest of it.


Much love to you tonight in the Lord Jesus,
Jes

Monday, November 22, 2010

Update for Online Bible Study - #2

Hi Friends,


Well, I'm having to go to a clinic and have something checked from my surgery last week. I'm sure it's nothing, but because it could be a complication my doctor's office from NY has requested that I get it examined.


I'll spare you the details. You'll be so glad I did. :)


Thus, it will be either later today or early tomorrow that I get questions & video posted. If you've already finished week one, please go ahead and start on week two.


I have a few questions for each of you though...have you had the time to complete your work?


Is doing this over Thanksgiving week going to make things too tough on you, the keepers of the home?


Please do let me know...there is no guilt here. I was simply trying to make sure that we finished before Christmas. Do we need to take an extra week?


Love you today,
Jes



Sunday, November 21, 2010

One Day Delay for Our Bible Study

Hi Everyone,


My apologies, I won't be posting questions tonight as planned but will post them sometime tomorrow instead. 


Hopefully at that time I'll also be able to get the videos uploaded. (I'm having some technical difficulties.)


I really thought that with a 22 hour train ride I'd get much accomplished, but I hadn't thought about how exhausted I was going to be and how tough sitting that long would be with my sore legs.


I slept from 8pm - around 1pm today!


And on that note, I'm going back to bed. :)


Much love to you, and I'll look very forward to touching base with you tomorrow,
Jes

Friday, November 19, 2010

Wanna Begin the Online Bible Study but Don't Yet Have a Book?

No worries!

Thanks to Chaundra, I now know that the first week of the study is available as a free download.

So, you can go right now to Precept.org, look for the Store tab, enter in "LORD, Teach Me to Study the Bible in 28 Days," and purchase your book.

Then, on that same page you can click to look inside the book and there you will be able to download THE WHOLE FIRST WEEK!

Yippie!

So let's get started! There's no better time than RIGHT NOW to learn how to dig in, how to mine the riches of God's Word for yourself!

Seriously, can you think of 3 good reasons NOT to learn how to study His Word?

If you have spent your lifetime being TOLD what God's Word says and means, but you've never learned how to study for yourself...how much longer do you WANT your Bible to seem so foreign to you?

And God forbid....what if those you've been taught by have been as wrong as the man was by whom I was indoctrinated for so many years?

I so hope you'll join us today!

God's Word is sweeter than honey, and honey is yummy!

Love you today,
Jes

What Makes Jesus Such A Big Deal?

This is what God revealed to me from His Word recently:

John 1:14
And the Word became flesh and tabernacled among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

What happened in this verse that is of such great significance?

Do you know what the purpose of the tabernacle was in the Old Testament?

Who resided within the tabernacle?

Once there was a permanent temple (the first one) Whom did God promise the Israelites that He would cause to dwell with them forever, if they would keep His covenant?

Wow! Think about it! Think about why it was (and is) such a big deal that once the Spirit of God had left the temple due to the Israelites breaking their part of their covenant with God, we see His provision through Jesus as a new tabernacle.

And with Jesus present, who else would be there...filling the new tabernacle?

Do you see it?

Will you comment?

Also...what was the Word full of?

Now, check this out:

John 1:17
For the Law was given through Moses, grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.

What key repeated phrase do you see between the two verses?

What is huge here friends?

HUGE?

What did Jesus bring that no one else had? (Hint: there are several answers here.)

I know that I'm asking you to think...but I truly want you to see it...to dig it out.

It's beautiful!

We leave in a few hours. Still praying for an upgrade. :-)

Chugga chugga choo-choo.

Chaundra, I'm THRILLED that you're inviting other women to join our blog study!!!!

SO exciting!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you today,
Jes

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Day After Angioplasty #2

Hi Friends,

I'm writing from my phone again, so this post will be short.

Yesterday I had my 2nd angioplasty. There were problems entering through my veins so Doctor Mehta had to go in through an artery in my left leg. I think I must have bled quite a bit, but have nothing to compare it to in order to say whether it was considered a lot.

I've been very tired today, which I expected.

Other than being tired, I'm really doing well.

I have chosen to start weaning myself off of some of the medications I've been taking for MS. I know my body well enough by now that I will be able to tell if I need to get back on them. If so, I will.

But if not.....what a blessing!

Lisa and I are going home on Friday. We will travel by train instead of by plane because neither Shane nor I have a peace about me flying this soon after having had an artery opened. (Opened may not be the correct medical term.) Whatever the correct word, we have all (Sweet Lisa included) just lived enough years that we know when we aren't at peace about something we'd better heed the warning.

So...a traveling we will go. The train trip will take almost 19 hours all total.

Would it be too selfish to ask you to pray for free upgrades to business class, or to a sleeper car?

At the least, having handicapped seating really would be a blessing!

How are you coming on the study? Any questions yet?

Snowflakes to Hotcakes...would you please tell me your real name again, so I can add you to our class list? :-)

Chaundra...it's not at all too late for you to join us! We'd love it if you could! May I add your name?

Chandy, are you going to be with us? I remember that you had commented that a study like this could work well for you. So hoping you will join too!

Love to all of you. Thank you for your countless prayers for Lisa and I!

Much love in Jesus,
Jes

Sunday, November 14, 2010

LORD, Teach Me To Study The Bible in 28 Days...Week 1 Kickoff!

Hi, hi, hi Sweet Friends,

Today has been such a great day! I'm up and about and Lisa and I have hit the town. This is the cutest little place! 

We're in Lee, MA and right now I'm writing to you from a table where Dickens and President Lincoln once ate. 

Isn't that just too cool for school?! 

I'm writing a blog post from a table where Dickens ate! 
Wonder if he was writing in his head as he enjoyed his fare, like I so often do. 

Wonder what President Lincoln (who read the Bible all the way through 6 times by the time he was 12) was pondering.

We're eating dinner at the Red Lion Inn, with a crackling fire behind us and a lovely pianist playing the most delicious music!


We've snacked on candied walnuts, cranberries, and some wonderful chive cheese spread...just a preview of great things to come for our tummies.


I'll be starting with Autumn Squash & Cider Bisque. Mmmm!

Please, don't hate me because I'm dining like a queen.


I mastered the messy bun today...lovin' it!


Lisa got a lovely pair of sterling silver earrings for herself, and I found the ring of my dreams! Since MS came to roost, I haven't been able to wear my ring that Shane bought for my middle finger of my right hand, and I've felt naked without it.


Today however, all my problems are solved I found a ring that I'm really diggin', it's 7 thin little sterling silver bands. 7...just discovered that as I wrote this, God's number of perfection and completion. 

$34 later, I'm feeling quite spoiled and happy. :)


OKAY...now, for those of you who are starting the Bible study with me this week...aren't you SO ready to get going?! I know that I am!


Over the next 7 days, I want you to work through week one. The book is laid out so that it will feel as though Kay is sitting right beside you, walking you step by step through each assignment.


HOWEVER, if you have ANY questions I really want you to email them to me. I'm going to be here to walk with you too.


My deepest desire is that you will fall in love with studying God's Word for yourself, and I will help you in any way that I can.


I won't give you the answers, but I will help you learn how to dig them out.


After you've done your week's work, come back here to the blog and I'll have a list of questions for you...most will be application questions for you to pray over and ask of yourself.


I'll post those on November 21st.
That will also be the post where I'd like for you to write your comments about how the Lord impacted your heart from what you learned. 

In the schedule below, please note the other dates  where I'd like you to leave your comments for that week.


If I can finally figure out how to do it, I will also be uploading videos each Monday.


So again...here's the boiled down version of the schedule:

Nov. 15-21: Work through week 1.
Nov. 21: Come here and review application ?s and comment.
Nov. 22: Watch the wrap up video and begin the next week.

Nov. 22-28: Work through week 2.
Nov. 28: Come here and review application ?s and comment.
Nov. 29: Watch the wrap up video and begin the next week.


Nov. 29-Dec. 5: Work though week 3.
Dec. 5: Come here and review application ?s and comment.
Dec. 6: Watch the wrap up video and begin the next week.


Dec. 6-12: Work through week 4.
Dec. 12: Come here and review application ?s and comment.
Dec. 13: Watch the wrap up video and let's have a party!


One note: PLEASE comment! 

Please, I beg you to do this. 

As of tonight, there aren't many of us signed up for the study, and we will need each others' comments in order to grow. It's through discussion that this happens, as we sharpen one another.


So please...share the insights that the Holy Spirit shows you. By your willingness to do so, others will be strengthened in their understanding of what they've studied.


Okay sweet friends...the bisque is calling my name, and I think Lisa is about to starve to death, so I will close for now.


Remember to email me at whatilearnedfromthewordtoday@gmail.com, as questions arise.

I'm so excited for you that I could just POP!

I'm praying for you, and I want you to remember to pray before you study every. single. time. 


It's The Holy Spirit who is your teacher, so make sure that you ask Him to do just that...teach you.


And, I want to give you one word of warning:
The evil one DOES NOT want you in the Word of God!


He will do anything he can to keep you from the truth, for he knows that by it your life will be changed forever...and not only yours, but the lives of your family members, your church body, and the lost whom God will send you to.

So know that you will face opposition, and begin praying right now that the Lord will give you courage and focus to keep your head down and do the study.


I love you so much, and I'm beside myself with excitement!
I can't wait to see how our God will move in our lives in just 4 short weeks!


In Jesus,
Jes





 

The Day After Angioplasty

Hi Friends,

Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your many prayers! I am humbled by the fact that so many of you have commented or emailed to let us know that you are lifting us up before the Lord.

Thank you.

Tonight and tomorrow would you please pray for Lisa? I know she is missing her man and her family, yet has so lovingly chosen to care for me.

We are both tired, our clothes are stinky (we only packed for ONE week!), and we're longing for hugs and kisses from our beloveds.

Please pray that we'll have as much fun and as many laughs this week as we did last. :-)

As for how I'm feeling....this is for my MS friends...
1. I was in a lot of pain last night, and sleeping was tough. It was my neck that hurt, and then I ate something that made me need to cough...which made it worse.
2. It still hurts to the touch, too.
3. I've been pretty tired today, and have just rested.
4. My walk is great.
5. I can do the finger to the nose test with my eyes closed just super.
6. I can stand with my eyes closed, arms outstretched and palms up and not fall backwards.
7. When I woke up this morning I could speak clearly. Before, my speech was sluggish for quite a while in the mornings.
8. My left eye is tender again today, and I've had some numbness on the left side of my face, but it's much better than it was pre-procedure.
8. My short term memory seems better....but I'll know more on that as time goes on.

For those who are joining the blog study, I am hoping to have a video up tomorrow. However, we don't have Wi-Fi here, so I can't promise a video.
Either way, I'm going to try to find a spot where I can post some questions to ponder together, and lay out a study schedule for us.

I really don't want this surgery stuff to stop us...so let's work together to push on, OK?

Are any of you studying with a friend or a group? If you bought a book but aren't listed under the tab above, will you please comment so I may add you?

I'm typing from my phone (Yay for the 3g network!) so again I won't be able to format this post. I hope to be back to a pretty one tomorrow when we find a hot spot.

Much, much love to you tonight in Christ Jesus,
Jes

Friday, November 12, 2010

A Very Quick Update

I am well and the surgery went great.

What I was certain of going into this procedure turned out to be spot on! (Thanks to Dr. Mehta for his amazing philosophy that the patient KNOWS how their body is feeling, and that the doctor's role is to discover the problem.)

Wow! The paridgm that makes a good salesperson also makes a good doctor! Who knew?!

It turned out that ALL 3 of my veins were either twisted or grossly occluded.

The azygous vein was 50% shut off. That's the one close to the heart. Painful!

The right jugular was 60% shut down and twisted.

And.....

Drumroll please. ....

The left jugular was NINETY percent shut down! If that weren't enough, a much smaller exterior vein was taking the load, so to speak, for the larger one that wasn't working.

Ummmm....that could really explain a LOT about these insane headaches I've had for the past 2 years!

I go back on Tuesday for the right jugular to be angioplastied.

Thank you so much for praying over my requests! God certainly has been answering!

I am totally exhausted and my neck hurts from the blowing up of the balloon. Thank you again for praying!

Thank you, and goodnight. :-)

Much Love,
Jes

The Morning of the Procedure

Hi Sweeties,

Thanks for reading my blog!

Today is the morning of the procedure. I'm at peace, I want you to know that.

So is my beloved. And speaking of him, I'm sure missing my man!
I'm guessing that some of you are wondering why he isn't here with me.


He is! For the Bible says that the two have become one. :)

The other reason is that he has a HUGE meeting that he's been working on for months an months, and I'm a big girl. I'm also not alone. My friend Lisa is with me, and she's one who has the same servant's heart that Shane has.

We're having so much fun together that it should be illegal! Yet, she's also taking tender care of me.


You know, with this procedure, I have put it into the Lord's hands and have left it there. I know that at any minute He could show me that I need to stop, and I would.


Last night I stopped. 


I became deeply concerned that I wasn't being fair to Lisa. She isn't having the procedure, but that's because she's not ready to do so yet. However, I hadn't given any thought at all to what it would mean to her if there were complications.


The risk of death for this procedure is so slim that I don't even recall what the percentage was. Yet, that's a risk with any surgery.


Last night I paused long enough to give deep consideration to how Lisa would feel if the Lord calls me home on that table, and she's left here all alone.


I shared my heart with her, and we both had a much needed bawling session. 


It's been a lot to process this week!

I told her that I would gladly call this off and do it at another time, and that I was so sorry for not having thought of her feelings before.

She was so sweet, y'all! She assured me that she wanted me to do it, and to do it now. 


We've both seen the hand of God this week in such miraculous ways...it's hard to explain them all to you, but I plan on trying to do exactly that this weekend.


So, I'm going forth in the Holy Spirit power of the LORD!


Here's the easiest way I know to explain what is going to happen to me today. It's definitely not going to be the most scientific explanation.

The doctor, who is a Vascular Surgeon, will go in through my groin area and will thread some thingamagilie up through my veins. He will look at my azygous vein, and then will look at both of my jugular veins. (We have these are either side of our necks.)


The azygous vein is located somewhere near the heart, if I'm understanding this correctly...but if you're reading this because you're considering having this procedure, you really need to look into the details for yourself, because I know I'm not writing a very sound medical description here...this is meant to be an overview.


They have found that in approximately 97% of patients with MS, there is a blockage in one of these 3 veins which is impeding the blood flow to and from the brain.


Some doctors even believe (as do I) that because the blood is not flowing as it should, and because due to the veins being twisted there is often blood reflux into the brain, that there could possibly be other answers as to what the lesions (plaques) are that are seen on our MRIs.


The theory is that the blood that is refluxing (going up instead of going down, my easy definition) is leaving iron deposits on the brain. Thus, it's possible that what is showing up on our MRIs is actually the visual of these iron deposits.


I did not know until the night of the symposium, that the lesions which are seen on MRIs actually come and go. Sometimes they are there, and sometimes not.


OH MY GOSH! 
THAT ALONE SHOULD MAKE US ALL STEP BACK AND LOOK AFRESH AT THIS DISEASE!

What if. Just what if, the fluctuations in our MRIs are due to this blood flow issue? What if the fact that we see a lesion on one MRI and not on the next one, could be explained as a result of changes in blood flow patterns and iron deposits that are here today and gone tomorrow?

This is exciting to me, and I thank God that I'm alive at a time when medical advancements are just that...advanced!

So the doctor with whom I'm working, Dr. Manish Mehta, will determine today how many of my veins are blocked off, and if I have blockages (narrowed veins) on both sides of my neck, he will angioplasty one side today.

Lisa and I will then go and hang out here for the weekend, due to the graciousness of my friend Dawn and her super kind husband. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

If Dr. Mehta finds that there is a blockage on both sides, I will then return to his office early next week for a second procedure. 

One of the things that Shane and I appreciate the most about 
Dr. Mehta is his desire to do only one side at a time. Shane loved this, because he sees the reasoning behind it as being quite sound.

Shane is a civil engineer and his job is to measure risks in everything he does, with the goal being to insure the highest levels of safety in all design work.

Thus, he realizes that Dr. Mehta is taking the more cautious approach. Were there to be complications over the weekend...
(i.e. bleeding or clotting), by doing only one side at a time, Dr. Mehta would be much more able to quickly determine where the problem is originating from.

Shane likes this. I like this. 
Once Dr. Mehta finds a narrowing (I've no doubt he will), then he will angioplasty that vein. This basically means that he will put a balloon into the vein and blow it up (expand it), with the goal being that once the vein is opened up the blood will be able to flow as it should. 

Once the blood is pulsing through as God designed it to, the veins will hopefully stay opened up.

And, with the blood flowing properly, the hope is that the body will then work as it is supposed to.

You can go to YouTube and search CCSVI or CCSVI Liberation and see the before and after videos of many people who have had this procedure done.

One of the reasons that I believe this theory has validity is based in what happened for me after I had sinus surgery a few years ago. Prior to that surgery, I had never been able to breath out of my nose well at all. 

I always, always had my mouth open at all times because I couldn't breath otherwise.

I had never been able to sleep on my back, because I always felt like I was choking to death.

After the surgery, and the healing that took time...a looooooong time, I was finally able to breath. Yay!

BUT...I also started losing weight without trying.

I believe that God used that surgery to honor my prayer (in which I had confessed to being a glutton, and told Him I knew He had died to set me free from sin...yet I had chosen to walk in it...and asked Him to forgive me and help me).

I believe that after the surgery, the blood was able to flow better, and that my blood was being oxygenated as it was designed to be.
Thus, the weight started falling off. Approximately 40 pounds of it!

C'mon church: can I get an AMEN for that?! Thank You Lord!

So, I believe that blood flow is of utmost importance, and that when it's impeded there are many negative effects upon one's body.

Here are today's prayer requests:

1. For Dr. and Mrs. Mehta.

What lovely people these two are! Church, would you please join me in lifting them up before the LORD?
I just can't tell you how much I like them and how blessed I feel to have met Dr. Mehta's wife!
It's my opinion that you can tell a LOT about a man by meeting the woman who loves and supports him. :)
2. For Lisa

That she'll have the peace that surpasses all understanding.

3. For My Kiddos and Shane:

That they'll have fun and productive (Shane) days. That they'll be so busy with what they're doing, they won't even think much about me. 

4. For all the people who will read this blog post simply because they landed here looking into Dr. Mehta or CCSVI.

Pray that they will find here the truth about who Jesus Christ is, and that through this blog (and the many other seeds that have been planted in their lives) they will come to know True Love, by repenting of their sins, receiving grace and mercy through Jesus,
and choosing to serve the Risen Savior.

5. You can pray for me if you want to. That would be very kind of you. I'm at peace...just know that. I'm all good.

And if something unplanned happens on the table today and I pass into the arms of my awaiting Jesus, I have but one request...

Church: be the church! Pick up the baton and run into this world, proclaiming to the lost the goodness of our God. Tell them the truth. Give them the Gospel. Live as the Temples of the Holy Spirit that you are!

This life is no longer about us. Once we're in Christ, it's only about Him.

Oh, one more request...make sure my babies and my beloved know that they were the very best parts of my life, save Jesus. 

Caedmon: Son, I'm so deeply proud of you! You know that we agreed that MS was going to be our standing stone to God. That the world was going to be able to look at MS in our lives and when they asked how we could live with joy in the midst, we would say, "Look at all that the hand of our God has done for us here. and here. and here."

Don't ever forget that, son. No matter what happens to me today, that truth has not changed. This is our standing stone. You keep on believing, and teaching others about Jesus.

You keep standing for truth in the midst of a generation that has lost an understanding of what is evil and what is good.

You write those Scripture songs to God, and sing and live them out.

Remember what we learned about Israel? They were to be set apart, that all the pagan nations around them would be able to see the glory of God, the truth, shining forth from them.

That's what it means to be a city on a hill, son. We are to let the light of Christ shine forth from us so that when the lost are looking for what is true, they will be able to look to God's people and there see His Spirit and cry out for Him.

Nothing that may happen today is to change God's call on your life son. If Mommy passes today, I'll see you again sooner than either of us will be able to imagine....for eternity holds no time.

Bouncy Baby Brennan -
Oh my darling, how you light up my life!

You make me see the beauty in this world. You make me smile and laugh more than anyone in my life ever has.

I love the way that you trust Jesus. The way that you love Him and sing to Him every day. 
You artwork...oh baby, your artwork...it's so beautiful, and such a gift from God. Use it to His glory, baby. Always do that.

Last week at the Brooklyn Tabernacle, Pastor Cymbala's message was on mercy, and I thought of you through the whole thing.

You are the first to remind me of grace and mercy. You always, always go there first and I love it, for in your example I am reminded that the New Testament tells us that mercy triumphs over judgment.


What a gift to have a visual remind of God's heart, in my very own child! God's plan throughout the ages has been mercy first, and judgment as a last resort.


So it is with you my precious girl.


Thank you for that. Thank you for making me soft. Thank you for loving animals and people like you do. 


I'm sorry I said I was never taking in another stray. I take that back.


Baby girl, you keep pursuing that passion to be a mommy and a wife...for truly, there is no higher calling.


Don't listen to the world which will tell you that you have to go to college or that you can do it all...no woman can do it ALL, and do it all well.


Something always falls through the cracks. Always.


Do the thing that God has called you to do, and do it will all of your heart as unto Him.


And then rest in the knowledge that obedience to Him is all you need to pursue in order to HAVE. IT. ALL!


The book of James tells us, baby, that all good and perfect things are from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, in Whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. What peace. What freedom! 

You don't need to pursue having it all, baby girl.
You only need to pursue having all of Him!


If something happens to Mommy today, you rest in knowing that I love you with all of my heart, and that I'll just be waiting for you. 


You know where I'll be too....laying on my face before my Jesus, spending time with my sister, and with your brother Stephen, and seeing if Paul and Peter have some time to talk. 


And, I'll tell Esther how much her life impacted both yours and mine.


I love you precious. I know everything is going to be o.k. today, and I hope that o.k. means that you'll be getting a new Mommy when I come home.


I pray it means that we'll be able to ride our bikes together at the greenway every day if we want to.


And I hope it means lots and lots of trips to the Children's Museum!


I love you all the way to God's Mighty Right Arm!


My Beloved Shane:

Oh baby, we sure have been through it haven't we? 

Brought together as two people living a cultural Christianity, and radically changed by the Almighty into two new vessels for His glory!

I never knew that someone could love me like you do. I was so beaten down by the time God brought us together, yet so hardened on the inside.

I didn't feel worthy of love, yet first Jesus and then you showed me what a lie that was from the pit of hell.


You are the most amazing man I've ever known, and almost 12 years later, I still can't believe that you are mine!


I like you a whole, whole lot since you got your new heart! :)


You can say the same of me...and together we sing,
"Holy is the Lord God Almighty! The Earth is filled with His Glory!"


Baby, you are all that and a bag of chips...and I will always want fries with that shake-shake booty!

Shane, when I studied the book of Ruth and the cross references to Deuteronomy, I was awestruck at the beauty of receiving a new name. I made plenty of notes about it in my Bible...but one that stands out to me is where I wrote, "Lord, thank you for giving me a new name here on earth...thank you for giving me Shane's family name. Thank you for making me one of them...a family with a heritage of loving You throughout the generations." 
(I'm paraphrasing, but you can look in my Bible and see my exact words.)


Thanks for making me part of you, baby. I love you and I love your family. They are mine, as they are yours. 


Thank you for making me laugh like no one else can. Nobody you work with has any idea what a riot you are, but I do!


You are the best friend I've ever had, and I cherish you.


Should something happen today, don't cry for me Argentina. You know as well as I do, where I'll be and what I'll be doing!


And if you marry again, and this is just a suggestion, I'd pick someone who really loves things clean and orderly...I'm just sayin'.


Love the unlovable, baby. Make sure our kids keep studying inductively...just do that for me, ok?


Nan, Ed, Blain, Patty...I love you so much!


I love you too...my family who are estranged. This is not an invitation for comments or communication...I simply want you to know that I do love you, and that I pray for you constantly.


Now to Him be all glory and honor and praise!

Jesus...I adore you!

No time to proof. 


Here we go....


Much love to you today in Christ Jesus...who loved YOU so that He gave His life to pay for the debt of every sin you've ever committed.

Sin has a price, and the price is death.
Obedience to Righteousness (Jesus) has a gift, and it's free...eternal life.
Don't take my word for it. Read Romans 5,6,&7
Read the Gospel of John.
Read Isaiah and see just some of the hundreds of prophesies of Who the Messiah...Who the Christ would be, and is.


Love to you today,
Jes