Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Boy's First Exposure to Pornography

Statistics say that the average age of a boy's first exposure to pornography is 11.

I think because Caedmon is now running with a group of older boys, this has been on my mind quite a bit. 

Just today, I was talking with him about how God would desire for him to handle the situation, should another boy ever offer for him to look at pictures of a woman without her clothes on.

I talked honestly with him about how the temptation would be strong, because the devil would be behind it. We talked about escape routes, and what he'd say to the boys, should this be offered to him.

Sadly, we even talked about how there might be fathers who profess to be Christians who keep these magazines in their homes.

I shared with him how hard it can be for those images to be removed from a young man's mind, and how it's only by God's grace that they are.

He's such a fighter for truth and righteousness, that kid. He was very clear about what he'd say and how he'd run from it.

I was quite proud of him.

He's only 9, you know. :)

We then proceeded to go about our day...homeschool PE, lunch, and a quick stop by a swap shop because I'm in desperate need of new kitchen chairs. 

"New" is a relative term, you know.

We landed in this great little shop, full of fun antiques and gobs of beautiful milk glass. My sweet friend Marilena collects milk glass. I so wanted to spend every last penny I have to lavish her with some new pieces....and then I saw the prices!

I still love you, Mar, but don't be looking for a package. ;)

As we were walking out the door, Brennan just about barred herself against the entrance to the last room we'd be passing.

"Mommy! Mommy! Caedmon CAN NOT go in there!"

As I looked, I saw her...she must have been the spread for one of the original playboy magazines...spread out for all to see.

No dignity.

No modesty.

Just total and complete immorality, wearing nothing but an alluring smile.

My heart was instantly grieved that my little girl had seen this, and then quick as lightning I turned to Caedmon to tell him to walk away from that room.

"I've already seen it, Mom."

I kid you not, as I write this, I'm fighting tears.

He's only 9, you know.

I thought we had at least 2 more years!


And then, the sad reminder that statistics are based on an average, and my heart breaks.

As we hurried to get out of the store, the owner stopped me...blocking my way to the exit.

"I'll sell ya that table and chairs out there for $200."

Funny how that number kept coming down, the longer I was in his store.

"No thank you. We're going to leave now," I said.

"Why, you didn't find anything?!"

"No, thank you. We're going to go now."

"There's gotta be something here you need!"

By now, I'm D-O-N-E!

"Actually, I'm quite grieved in my heart over something we just saw, and I want to leave."

"What?! What was it?"

"It was a picture of a woman without any clothes on, at eye level for my children, my son to see."

And without skipping a beat, this foul-smelling, alcohol dripping guy says to me, "Well, maybe you shouldn't bring him in her anymore."

It took all I had not to retort, "You can rest assured of that!"

"We're leaving now," I said...still trying to get to the door.

"Where is it? It's art!" says my new found enemy, without even the slightest hint of what he's referring to.

"It's the world we live in. It's everywhere. Ain't nothing wrong with it," he continues, still not moving his carcass from the doorway.

At this very minute, a woman walks through the door. She's clean and well kept and wants to know what this is all about.

"There pornography at eye level for my children, and we want to leave," I raising my voice a bit in the hope that old man stinky will get out of my way so he can deal with his new customer.

Only thing is, she's not a customer...she's evidently his wife.

Now I've got 2 who are upset, but I'm finally able to work my way out the door with my precious cargo, and so I'm feeling like a caged bird who's been set free....I'm happy and we're leaving!

BUT IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT...he follows me out he door and to my van, still tossing his trash at me.

"He's gonna see worse than that on tv! That ain't pornography! Yack, yack, yack..."

"Get in the van, kids. GET IN THE VAN!"

I turn to the man, "I am done here! I am not talking about this with you! Leave us alone! I am DONE!"

I get in and shut the van door as he's still going at it. Finally, after I turn the engine on, he decides to go back into his store.

I had JUST been studying 2 Thessalonians 2 earlier in the day and so took that very moment to open up the Word with my kids, and read these verses to them...

7For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only he who now restrains will do so until he is taken out of the way.
 8Then that lawless one will be revealed whom the Lord will slay with the breath of His mouth and bring to an end by the appearance of His coming;
 9that is, the one whose coming is in accord with the activity of Satan, with all power and signs and false wonders,
 10and with all the deception of wickedness for those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved.
 11For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false,
 12in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.

While it grieves me still, that this happened, I praise God that I was RIGHT THERE with both of my children when it did. They were in my hip pocket, and I could IMMEDIATELY bathe the situation in the Word of Truth, and in prayer.

We all sat right there in the van and prayed for that man's salvation, and for the minds of both of my children...that God in His grace would cleanse their minds from what they'd seen.

We talked about how that man didn't have a love of the truth, and we numbered the ways in which he'd tried to call evil good.

1. it's art
2. he'll see worse than that on tv 
3. by implication, there's nothing wrong with it
4. blame...just don't bring him in here....maybe you shouldn't come back

It was quite the object lesson.

And in my haste to bathe my children in the Word and in prayer, I hadn't yet moved my van.

Imagine my surprise when the man came back out of his store and started aggressively knocking on my window, fully expecting me to roll it down and engage with him again.

Yeah, I'll get right on that!

I looked up at the man, his shoulders braced in a stance of anger, and put my van into reverse...all the while he's still knocking on the window. I used my best tractor driving technique and backed that baby up, at the same time waving one arm at the guy to let him know by my body language, "THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! I WILL NOT BE ROLLING MY WINDOW DOWN! GOOD RIDDANCE!"

Caedmon, ever the thinker, said, "Mommy, maybe he was coming out to apologize."

"Maybe son, but very doubtful. There was no stance of humility in his approach, and he's full of alcohol. Remember Joseph? What did he do when someone tried to tempt him to sin?"

"He fled."

"That's right, honey...and we're going to flee, because your Momma is ready to sin!"

"Mommy, I'm scared. I'm scared he's going to hurt us."

"Oh baby, you don't need to worry about that! Your Momma would kick that old man's butt with two hands tied behind my back! I'd take him down so fast and so hard, he'd be crying for mercy! He has NO IDEA who he's messed with!"


OK, so I started out I said, I was DONE!

He's only 9, you know.

Love ya'll,

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Update Time....

Hi Friends,

We have landed!!!

As I write this, I'm sitting the the lovely bay window in our new kitchen, with the reflection of a whole host of beautiful trees, glimmering in my computer screen. The trees are to my back. 

What I'm looking at is a pile of things that need to be put away and an open pantry door (this time it's ME who forgot to close it...I was chomping on some honey....mmmmm).

I'm feeling easily 75% better here. Praise Jesus for that!

The humidity really does make a difference!

My children are absolutely beside themselves with excitement over being here. Last night in her prayers, Brennan said, "and God....thank You for moving us to Tennessee! We love it here! We all love it!"

Currently, there are 5 kids upstairs playing their hearts out. Who thought I'd be able to handle that?! When they get wild, I will send them to the basement. Who knew that basements were so cool?!

Hey...there they go right now. :)

Oops...change the number, now there are 6. 

All boys, except for Brennan...she really holds her own.

I had a talk with the boys yesterday about how their role will always be to protect her, and that I expect that from each of them. I explained that they were to conduct themselves as gentlemen around her, and treat her as the sweet blessing that she is.

They got it.

The boys in this neighborhood are such kind and well mannered young men. Most of them come from Christian homes, and it shows in their behavior.

I love this!

The first day we were here, 4 of the boys came over to play and as they ran into the back yard and down to the creek, I heard Caedmon say, "C'mon guys...follow me, I'm the leader of the 5 Guy Gang!"

To which one of them immediately said, "You're not the leader! You're the new kid and you're younger than me! I'm the leader!"


Just what he needs. I could've hugged that boy's neck!

I'm going to try to upload a picture of my view out of my kitchen window for you...if it posts here you'll know I was successful.

If you don't see it, you'll know that I'm getting ready for my husband to come home. ;)

I love this house! It truly is my dream home. There are so many things about it that I love, that I can't even begin to list them all, but I'll share a few:

We have a dedicated music room. Caedmon was in there today playing the trumpet, and Brennan was on the piano. love it!

We have a laundry room. love it!

We can drink water straight from the tap. Wow! What a blessing that is! No more frantic midnight runs to the Circle K just to have water to drink the next day. love it!

The kids have a stream to play in, woods to explore, birds to watch, nature everywhere. 
love it!

We are only 15 minutes from Precept Ministries. love it!

My kitchen doesn't open to the family room anymore. I might be able to cook a dinner without burning it now! love it!

My bathtub is so big that the kids think it's more of a mini-swimming pool. love it!

We have plenty of room for guest to come and stay and they have their own bathroom, entrance and driveway. How cool is that for hosting people?! love it!

Much love to all of you tonight,