I don't aspire to gain fame through this blog.
My days of sacrificing my family because I have something that I think the world needs to read are gone.
In leading Bible studies, the Lord graciously reminded me through MS that my family comes first...that His world, His plans for His children, are always ordered.
My first order of business is my family.
For years my heart was to move back to Chattanooga and go to work for Precept Ministries. I was just itching to put all the years of sales and marketing, combined with a love for the ministry and a deep desire for people to grow in Christ, to use for Him!
When the Lord did move us back here, He had already completed His work in my heart about priorities and timing, so my desires had been radically changed...by the Almighty.
To His glory.
And for the benefit of my sweet husband and precious children.
My job is here, and I know it and love it.
I try not to spend my days counting down the time with the children, but it's hard not to...as it seems to be speeding by, way too fast!
"Lord, help me to savor each moment."
A few months ago when I was at a ministry event, a woman whom I had deeply respected (who doesn't work for the ministry) got eyeball to eyeball with me and said these words...
"God has a higher calling for you than wife and mother."
That comment messed with me. It tainted the entire weekend for me, as I struggled to process through it.
My nights were sleepless as I took it to the Lord in prayer, believing those words to be so contrary to everything He had been working in my heart for the previous 12 months.
Really?
A higher calling?
Really?
I have friends who would insist that being a stay at home mom isn't rocket science...that they could manage it in a few hours each morning and then be bored to tears...wasting their education, their intelligence.
Oh, how I've been there!
How thankful I am that God changed my thinking! Mind you, it took years before I fully submitted to Him in this area, but I think I'm finally being obedient to Him in it.
I grieve with my friends who so want to be home with their babies, whose hearts break each time they have to leave their precious little ones in daycare...yet whose husbands insist that they work outside the home.
"Dear Lord, change their hearts. Please change them quickly. The days are ticking down.
A harsh truth, Lord."
I pray for them. God brings them to mind so often, and I pray that He will change the hearts of their men and make them see the value, the high calling that HE places upon the role of homemaker.
I'm not talking about women who have gone to work temporarily in order to help pull through a very tight spot.
Some of my most cherished hours are the ones spent just talking with my children...reasoning with them through life and through the Word.
A precious and dear friend of mine who has a Masters in Education told me just a few days ago that she is amazed by what I do...by how we talk with our children, and by how they are learning.
I had no idea! All this time I thought she was anti-homeschooling.
Oh, how that affirmation blessed my soul!
"Thank you, my dear friend! Your words were such a gift! I love you!"
What does all of this have to do with my blog, you ask?
Well, I'm rethinking it.
Or better said, I'm listening afresh.
My deepest desire for this blog has always been that you, the reader, would be inspired to begin to study the Word of God for yourself.
So I must ask myself if my posts are pointing you that way?
Perhaps I should ask you. Are they?
Do you hunger and thirst more for the Word of God because you've visited here?
I don't desire to be the most eloquent of blog writers. Truly, you can find that on the web...women with amazing gifts of expression that will leave you bathed in the beauty of their words and their love for Jesus.
What I want more than anything in the world is for you to fall in love with your Bible.
For you to KNOW that you can study it for yourself!
For you to TRUST that you can teach it to your children.
For you to DESIRE more and more of the Living Word of God..and to grow in Christ.
How does the Lord want this to happen?
So many thoughts are swimming through my brain about it. I was awake at 2:45 this morning praying over the questions, and writing blog posts in my mind.
Today, I sit at this keyboard just pouring out my thoughts, random though they are...and asking you to pray with me.
If the Lord wants me to take this to the next level, I have to be more dedicated to meeting with you here on a regular basis.
Will that be daily? Every other day?
I don't yet know.
Will it include showing you by video how to teach your children to study the Word of God?
Will there be 2 days a week of deep Bible study together, and a few lighter days full of pictures and giggles?
I'm not yet sure.
But I am asking you to pray for me.
I want this blog to bring great glory to God, to equip the saints, and to be used of His Spirit to draw the lost to Himself.
If it can't do that, or isn't doing that, I need to close it.
As a blog writer, it's tough. I never know if people are reading what I write, or are just popping in for a picture and then popping right off.
It's easier when there are comments coming in, at least I know a few are reading. But when people do what I so often do on blogs... read,skim and skip, it's tough to measure whether an impact is being made for the Kingdom, or not.
So I'm asking you to pray for me...again. Did you see that? A key repeated phrase. :)
I'm not proofing today. It's 6:30 and I've been up since 2:45 and now that I've said what's been on my heart, I am going to rest my weary head.
This sleepless stuff is part of the deal when MS gets rough. It's one of my least favorite parts, but hopefully it's been used for productivity today.
Much love to you today in Christ Jesus,
Jes
Here's one just to keep you interested.
The family at World's End in Hull, Mass. Aren't they great?!
It's Link-Up day at Raising Homemakers! You'll find some amazing blog writers there. Enjoy!
