I know that I can't be the only person in the world who has someone in their life that they truly
CAN NOT STAND.
Nice way to start a blog post, eh?...especially when I have refrained from writing for so long.
I thought I'd just come out of the gate fast and hard, since this will likely be my return to blogging.
There is someone in my life who is SO HARD for me to deal with!
Their words, the snide little faces they make, the backstabbing things that they do...all make me want to schedule a sit-down with them and let them HAVE IT!
My mother used to tell me (usually when we were in a fight) that I would have made a great lawyer.
I'm able think on my feet very clearly, and when powered by my flesh I can tear someone to shreds with my words in mere moments, and convince myself that I'm brilliant all the while.
Don't miss those key words though..."when powered by my flesh."
Oooh! My flesh has a FIELD DAY every SINGLE time I think about this person!
That is, if I'm walking by it, instead of by the Spirit of God which dwells within me.
However, I don't live like that today. That's not the woman that I am, or desire to be. If I blow it, it's usually only seconds before I go back to the person and tell them I was wrong and ask for forgiveness.
My days of truly ripping someone to pieces with my words just don't occur anymore, but I'm fully aware of the fact that I could all too easily slip right back into that behavior.
I've heard and read over and over that I'm supposed to die to myself, but it wasn't until I listened to this song by Lecrae that I really understood what that means.
(When you click on the link, reallyl listen to what he says at about 4:25-4:45 minutes into the song.
I love many of Lecrae's songs, because they are so chocked full of doctrine.)
So, how does Jesus instruct me to deal with this person who incites anger within me, more than just about anyone else I know?
He bids me to come and die.
He instructs me to die to myself daily, to walk in the truth that my flesh has already been crucified with Him, and to humbly admit that it is impossible for me to walk by His Spirit and spew hateful words upon this person at the same time.
The truth is, regardless of the fact that they claim to be a Christian, their life defies their cultural church talk.
Thus, I pray for their salvation, and for God to heal their heart.
I take many a Salvation Shot for this person...and I keep thinking that the more I pray for them, God will truly put a love for them in my heart.
That hasn't happened yet.
God doesn't tell me I need to feel something toward them in order to live as Christ before them.
He tells me to obey Him, and by doing that I'm able to allow His Spirit to lead and direct my words and my actions.
How about you? Do you have the same struggle?
I am clear on the fact that the Lord has shown me that it's through having this very person in my life that I will learn to love as He did...sacrificially...toward even my enemies.
I pray that this post encourages you to die to yourself and to allow His Spirit to control your words and actions toward those in your own life whom you can't stand.
Much love to you tonight,
Jes
