Tonight is a hard night for me. I just found out that a friend of mine was killed this weekend in a tragic accident.
As I write this, I feel as though my heart is going to break. She left behind a husband and two young children.
I ache for them. I ache knowing that I'll never see her again...never get to talk with her about the Lord again. Never listen as she shares her ponderings on God with me, and asks me questions about Him...I feel as though the conversation was in mid-sentence....there was so much more to listen to her about...so much more to share.
The tears keep coming, and I am reminded again of how precious the Lord is to me...as I think of His names, the one that keeps sounding in my head is Jehovah-Rapha, the LORD who heals me.
Even the name LORD (Jehovah) is amazing to me...it means all sufficient One...the LORD..He needs no ones help.
So, as deep as my hurt is right now, as deep as the pain is that this family is going through, Jehovah-Rapha is all sufficient to heal the hurts of all of us...single handedly.
A few months ago I might have written this post from a more "scholarly" approach...you know, all book learning with little practical life experience.
Amazing what a dose of humility and tearing down by God will do to a person.
You see...this summer was truly the summer of my discontent. It was the summer that I spent wondering if all this "God-stuff" was really true. Was He really Who he claimed to be? If so, where was He in the middle of my heartache?
Why didn't He stop the trainwreck that I had to go through this summer, before it happened?
Why does God allow satan to "sift believers like wheat" (that's what Jesus told Peter satan had asked permission of God to do to him)?
Yes, this summer was my crisis of faith. I never expected that I'd have one...I have been so deeply in love with God and His Son since giving my life to Him in 1999, that I never once thought I'd doubt Him.
WOW! Was I wrong.
But you know what I learned? I learned that God is bigger than my doubts. He is bigger than my questions about Him. He can take them...and He longs to answer them with the lovingkindness of who He is.
I realized that He wants so much more for me than I could ever want for myself, that He is willing to refine me in His fire until He has formed me as the person that He created me to be...in the image of His Son.
I realize that I'm rambling here, but I do hope you'll cut me some slack tonight. :)
Yes. Jehovah-Rapha wants to bring good from this tragedy that happened to my friend and to her family. Just like He brought good, and continues to, from the pain of my summer.
He wants to shine through this painful time and show Himself loving and gracious to my friend's family...and I hope that He will choose to use those of us in this community who know Him and love Him, to be instruments of His love.
Won't you please pray for this family with me?
And, will you please join me in praying for the pastor that will lead the funeral service? Pray that he will ask God to get him out of the way, and that he'll just let the Holy Spirit speak through him.
Pray, please, that the pastor who leads the service will be BOLD in sharing the Gospel..there are many in our community who need to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ..the propitiation for their sin debt...Him crucified and resurrected so that they might receive the FREE gift of eternal life, if only they will repent and follow Him.
Pray that the chosen pastor won't back down from sharing the Truth, the Life, and the Way....Jesus Christ.
Now is not a time for a soft-shoe dance. I am praying, and will be fasting, asking God to use this tragedy to bring salvation to many..and that the pastor who will lead the service will be only a vessel that God can pour out His Spirit through.
Won't you please join me? There are so many hurting people here who need the LORD. Will you join with me in prayer and fasting this week?
For Him and Because of Him,