Have you gone away?
I wouldn't blame you if you had at this point.
I'm going to give you a brief update of the past 11 days.
Perhaps I should go back a little further.
Why it takes me falling flat on my face to realize that the grace I preach should also be the grace I walk in, I'm not sure.
When I arrived home from New York, I just didn't give myself the time I needed for my body to heal. I think that because there wasn't a warning label stuck to my forehead when I was shipped home, I just assumed that I'd be good as new and ready to hit life head on.
Although I was fighting hard, my body was revolting. I had two trips to the doctor because of leg swelling and two sonograms within a week of each other (this is boring already, isn't it?).
Friday night December the 3rd we had a wonderful women's event at our church, but it took every single ounce of pounce that I had in me to make it.
With Lisa escorting me home, all I could think about was how ready I was to pile into bed. Yet when I got in the door, I saw on the the caller i.d. that one of my oldest and dearest friends from High School had called. When I listened to the message that she left, I could tell in her voice that something wasn't right.
"Red" and I have been friends since we were 17, and there's one thing I know about her...she doesn't call at night. Girlfriend works long, hard hours and loves curling up with her man in the evenings.
And in a word, she cherishes her weekends.
I had no doubt that I was the last thing on her mind on a Friday night. So, although I would have normally waited to call her back the following day, I knew in my heart that whatever she needed to talk with me about couldn't wait that long.
Yet what she had to tell me when I called her back was something that I wasn't prepared to hear.
My heart certainly wasn't prepared.
I guess the truth is that we're never prepared for these calls.
She told me that her little sister's husband had died suddenly of a massive heart attack just a few hours before. They and their son had gone to Gatlinburg to enjoy the Christmas parade together as a family, and it was there that it happened.
"Red" and her husband, son and other sister were on the way to Gatlinburg at that very moment.
Man, here come the tears again. It's still very fresh, and my heart still aches.
As you can imagine, the next several days were littered with bouts of weeping and a broken heart for my friend and for her sweet sister ...and for her precious little boy.
Her little boy who said in his innocence,
"Today was the best day I've ever had with my Daddy!
We had so much fun together!"
I just kept thinking, "We're all preparing to celebrate Christmas, and she and her 4 year old son are burying Daddy."
When I'm hurting like that, I just shut down. I wanted so to pop on here and write, but I was crippled.
The visitation was Monday night.
My favorite part about that time was that they let her little boy wear whatever he wanted to, and he chose a Superman t-shirt.
You know, the one that has a big "S" in the middle of it?
It was perfect...he brought smiles to so many of us who were in anguish. Seeing his little head pop around the corner with that big red "S" on his chest sent a message to many of us that he truly is in the hands of our Superhero and that despite how grim things looked, he was going to be lovingly protected and cared for.
I can't help but think that in a few years he may well be a superhero to his Mommy as well.
My children sure have been ones to me these past few years. Kids rise to the challenges presented in their lives. I'm learning that as I watch my own grow through having a Mommy who has had health problems.
Tuesday was the funeral.
What an amazingly beautiful, God glorifying funeral it was!
Then that night, my body went into rebellion.
I was hit with the worst cold that I've had in years and I think that due to the physical stress my body had already been in, combined with the emotional heartache, things were just compounded.
Then Shane got sick.
Then Brennan got sick.
I'm hoping not, but it seems that now Caedmon may be getting sick. (Please Lord, keep him well.)
In the midst of all of that, 2 days ago I started having some pretty concerning gastro type things that landed me back at my
I was so elated! I really couldn't believe it. A colonoscopy was on my Christmas list, but never in a million years did I think I'd really get one!
I know, I know. Lucky me.
So, what to do with our study right now?
I'm going to do what I can, as I'm able to, and apologize profusely that I haven't been able to do what I wanted to, when I wanted to.
How about if we just agree that the main goal is for us to stay in the Word... to keep Him the focus of our hearts and minds this month?
How are you, my friends?
How can I be praying for you right now?
Are you still working in the book?
If so, where are you in it?
Have you put it on hold until you could hear from me?
Will you update me?
Am I forgiven?
I'm going back to bed. I woke up at 4 am after just 4 hours of sleep, so it's time to get some more shut eye. If I can. My belly sounds like a pot of boiling soup...kinda hard to sleep through that.
Sending much love your way this morning,