Maybe it's my high-feeler personality, per the Myers Briggs testing. Perhaps it's my propensity toward tears when my heart is touched, convicted, or pierced.
Regardless the reasons, there are only a few of my friends who will really speak into my life those things which they fear I might take the wrong way.
Yet, I deeply cherish those handful of friends! I am so very thankful that their love for me, and their desire for me to be all that God has designed me to be, far outweigh their concern for themselves.
Leaves me asking myself, how did a chickie-mom like me land friends like these?
A few of those friends, both of whom are close to 20 years wiser that me, have recently
:)
One shared with me how much she loved pulling up my blog and going to the search section when she wanted to know what I had seen from Scripture regarding a certain passage.
Wow! What a humbling complement...but not really such a complement to me after all, if what I'm doing is operating from a gifting of God through His Holy Spirit when I share what I've learned from His Word.
Humbling yes. But the complement would go to God, not to me.
Enter friend #2, affectionately known as Nanners, Nan, Janan, Spiritual Momma...
She send me a note some months ago, along with a CD by Beth Moore, all about how discouragement comes for the teacher, and Nanner was concerned that I was discouraged....and she wanted to encourage me to press on.
To keep fighting the good fight.
Not to give up.
Friend #1, Leta-Bandita, went so far as to remind me what the title of my blog is.
I do love that lady! I love kissing her sweet soft cheeks each time I see her, and marveling over the fact that she's achieved that buttery soft skin simply by using Ponds for years.
Unbelievable!
But I digress. :)
So, my friends, I'm writing to ask you if you'd please pray for me. Pray that I'll have courage.
I study my Bible almost every day, yet I don't write about what I'm studying as much anymore, because somewhere along the line, I started reading items by some of the great theologians, and realized that I'm not one.
No where close.
I just love Jesus. JESUS. JESUS CHRIST, for whom I am a willing slave for the rest of my life.
Yet, I'm also fearful now...in a way that I wasn't when first I started this blog. I'm terribly afraid of steering someone wrong.
I realize now that I may see something in my study of a given book of the Bible today, and glean something completely different from that same book in a year from today.
It's not my heart to create doctrine here...nor to reiterate the doctrines of man.
I simply want to share with you what God has shown me through His Word. I want to take you on a marvelous adventure of studying God's Word, and of discovering what it means to be His beloved.
Think about that....the God of the universe calls us His beloved!
Baffling. Beyond my comprehension.
But believable, wholly and only because God tells us so.
And God cannot lie.
He tells us that too, in His Word.
I'm excited to get back on track...excited but scared. I don't have much emotional space in my life for dealing with critics, nor do I desire to engage in deep debate with those who may leave comments.
I just want to love Jesus, study God's Word, be led in a life of obedience to Him by His indwelling Holy Spirit, and love others as Christ loves me.
I'm praying about how to go about what God has laid on my heart, and then confirmed through my friends. Won't you pray with me?
I will follow His lead, no doubt.
Not a yet, or a but....simply this....I would like to hear from you in comment form....
What is it that has kept you coming back to read my blog?
If there's something that you've been missing, what is it?
Any suggestions on how to make it better?
I love you all!
I turned 40 yesterday. My sweet friend called me, D sent me a lovely card, Janet brought me 2 books I will cherish forever, but one has already pierced my heart and has given me words from Jesus that I know I am to share with my new Jehovah's Witness friends.
You just have to get a copy of Transforming Grace by Leslie Martin!
Other highlights to yesterday:
- My precious husband bought me the most beautiful black pearls I've ever seen. They're amazing and I love them!
- I got tulips. My favorite!
- Peggy Sue bought me a birthday cake, a colossal cupcake. Little Miss B ate all the icing off of it. Boo!
- Kim is planning a surprise something or other for me next weekend. Yay!
- Candee Sue sent me the most beautiful antique teapot to go with the beautiful Spode teacup and saucer that she gave me months ago.
- Several friends wished my Happy Birthday on Facebook.
- My brother called me...he's so good about that, every single year!
- I received several sweet eCards.
- Caedmon threw up all day, and ran 103 degree temp.
Life is sweet.
I love ya'll. Please send me comments...I really want to read them!
No proofreading tonight, so forgive me if my spelling or grammar stink. :)
Read my heart instead.
40 year old hugs,
Jes
4 comments:
Happy, Happy Birthday!!
Well, there are many reasons I come to your blog, but here's one off the top of my head:
I like to read the theological thoughts by all of those big guys with credentials, and they are brilliant. But when I read your blog, I think, 'hey, I can do this too!"
And here's my struggle...maybe it's something you could write about if you ever need ideas. (But this is probably something you never struggle with, so maybe you can't write about it.) Do you ever just plain not want to read your bible? Do you ever get so distracted with other things that you'd rather curl up in bed with any other book? What the heck is wrong with me?
Fear sure does keep us from things. I remember a story "it begins with a frozen lake and the need to cross it. The group of people to cross it perceived the task differently. One confidently crossed the lake at a fast pace without looking down, another crossed cautiously watching where they stepped, while the last person got on their hands and knees and crossed with fear and trembling. Yet, they all made it across" Don't let fear stop you from doing what God has called you to do. We all make mistakes in what we say at times, we all have times when we wonder how we got that from the Word, yet what counts is our hearts and it is our hearts that are measured as to our intent and purpose of what we were saying.
Second, is it not also the hearers job to measure what is said to the Word of God?
So be encouraged dear one. :) love ya Candee
Why do I come? I come because I am so encouraged by your honesty and your insights. And you never disappoint me. Your transparency convicts me, in that when you confess your weakness, which is often something I try to hide, it makes me want to be more see-through, too.
Sometimes your insight confirms what I've been thinking.
Sometimes I weep because (at 39 or 40) you are so much farther along than I. Other times I weep because of your attitude toward your pain. I have never experienced that kind of fellowship of suffering, and I'm a little jealous.
I read your blog to find out what's going on in your life, and how you're doing it. I obviously missed something, 'cuz I just yesterday found out you're moving!!
I'm glad that with these forums we are no farther apart from Mesa to Anthem than we will be from Mesa to Chattanooga!!!
You actually think your thoughts are not deep? Oh, Jes! SO not true!
I love you, girlfriend. You're my hero!
What keeps me coming back is encouragement from a strong woman who has dealt with living in this world as a Christian for longer than I have. Your experience, knowledge and insight really help my studies and makes me think about certain things in ways I have not yet. As a baby Christian there are alot of things that get turned upside down and it helps learning from someone who has gone through that already.
You also have a great sense of humor!
One of the things I am struggling right now with is prayer. Am I doing it right. Praying more and having a more effective prayer life. I am trying to fit in a book that I have about it that I am not even sure is a good one (Andrew Murray on Prayer).
Also balancing priorities. I have determined what I need to make my highest priority right now as a Christian but some days it feels like I work very little towards that and it is extremely frustrating as there is nothing else more important.
And I don't feel as if I am reflecting a good light as a Christian. I have very far to go yet. Sometimes I feel like I am just spinning my wheels and going nowhere.
(I think that was three things :)
Just keep writing from your heart. If it stays open listening to God and asking for his guidance how can you go wrong?
Love to you today!
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