On Being Loved, and The Effects of Steroids

It's been an emotional and full past few days.

Tuesday my throat started closing up, and we thought we were in for an ER visit.

That was scary!

My face also went totally numb, from my nose down...on both sides. Then all this other funky stuff started happening. I'll spare you the details, but will just say...it was nuts!

I started bawling like a baby because Mr. Wonderful (Shane) had hit his end (understandably) and when he raised his voice, (not at me, but it felt like it) I just lost it.

Our poor kiddos were in the hallway hearing Mommy crying her head off, Daddy trying not to raise his voice, and fear in the house so thick you could cut it with a knife.

I called precious Laura, and she was at my house within 10 minutes, picking up our kiddos to entertain them for the rest of the day. Thank you, sweet friend! I love you!

Mr. Wonderful then spent the next hour on the phone with pharmacists, asking about every possible side effect of the myriad of medications I'm on right now.

Have I mentioned how great it is being married to a brilliant engineer?

We then decided to remove the most likely culprit, and I started keeping a very detailed journal of how my body is reacting after each dosage of stuff I'm on.

I figured, if I was dying, I'd know it...and 911 would be quicker than a visit to the ER, anyway.

After a while, the throat closing-feeling went away, and the facial numbness has gotten much better...yet I still have trouble feeling my lips.

Makes me want to break out into a Veggie Tales song!

The only bummer in all of this is that the medication we eliminated is the one that helps with the intense pain in my hands and head.

Boo on that!

But, I'll see the Dr. on Tuesday, July 7th...that's Dr. Wonderful, not to be confused with

Mr. Wonderful, and we'll figure out a long term plan.

:o)

Dr. Wonderful and Mr. Wonderful...I'm a blessed lady, I've got one of both!

Wednesday....what happened Wednesday? I'm not too sure that I remember Wednesday.

Today, we went to the most amazing memorial service for my friend Georgann, a precious sister in Christ, who went home to be with Him last week.

We shed many tears, and I sat in awe as I watched the glory of the Lord pour forth from our worship leader and our pastor, and the many sweet people in our church who served today in honor of Georgann and her family.

I've been thinking so much these past few weeks, of how thankful I am for our church...not the building, but the people who fill it.

Of how thankful I am that God led us home, after 5 long years of praying to find ours.

Our pastor is unabashed about teaching the Word of God, but he does it with all patience and instruction. (2 Timothy 4)

He will not back down from the truth, but it's his heart...Christ's heart, that shines through each word that Jesus delivers through him.

Today, as I sat in Georgann's service, I thought about what it was like growing up under a cult leader, a false teacher.

I realized today, that what was so wounding about it was that I never heard the love of God from that false teacher. I had legalism shoved down my throat by that man, and words of harshness unlike any you'd ever expect to hear from a pastor, but I never once heard the love of God.

Never once.

The wounds that were inflicted by that man, and his false teaching, are still impacting my family today.

Yes, I know that God is gracious. I know that He redeems the time that the locust has eaten. I know that He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are the called according to His purpose.

I do know that...

Yet still, my heart breaks over the abuse he doled forth from his bully pulpit.

And I know it breaks God's heart!

By contrast, I listen to my current pastor, and the love he has for the flock that God has entrusted to him...his love for God...his love for those who do not know Jesus Christ...that love just pours out of him like healing water.

I realized today, we have a shepherd in him.

He loves us.

What a concept!

To have a pastor who loves you.

Who knew?

I sure didn't.

He loves us.

He loves Georgann.

He loves her family.

He loves us.

He loves.

He loves, because he learned how to from God, through Christ Jesus.

Oh, that I will love those whom God puts in my path the way that my pastor is modeling for me.

And Tyler, our worship leader...what a precious young man of God he is...and his darling wife, Joy, who serves our children faithfully...endlessly. She's the real deal...and I love her more every time I see her sweet face.

Last Sunday as we drove into the parking lot for church, I saw Tyler standing alone, reading his Bible in preparation for his time of service to our body.

I took that moment to say to the children,

"It's an awesome thing to drive into the church parking lot and observe your worship leader spending time with the Lord in His Word. Tyler loves God's Word, kids...and he "gets" that leading worship is his spiritual act of service to Christ and His body... he "gets" that it's not about him."

Huge.

I do realize that I'm all over the place in this post...I thank you for your compassionate understanding.

I mean, you can't get too upset with a woman who can't feel her lips, now can you?

I gotta go to bed...

But before I do, two things...

1. If you live in the North Valley of Phoenix and are looking for an amazing church with people who truly love the Lord and each other, consider this your personal invitation to visit us at Standing Stones Community Church any Sunday morning at 10am.

You'll know you're in the right place, because you'll be welcomed with open arms, and a jar of jelly. You wanna know more about the jelly, you gotta come for a visit. :)

2. I thought I'd share a picture with you...that chronicles the effects that the steroids are having on me.

Be nice.

I know it's pretty brutal to see, but I just thought you all might want to know how to be praying for me.

Love you much,

Jes

Just for the record, this picture was actually taken 40 pounds ago. :0)